Monday, April 17, 2017

Red Ribbons: Growth and Lessons

The Farm Manager
hung his head as he was handed a red ribbon.
Tears welled in his eyes careful not to let any fall because there is no crying in the show ring.
He tucked the ribbon in his back pocket where so many other ribbons had been that day.
He lead, TJ, his 160 pound sheep back to its pen closed and locked the gate as tears began to rolled down his pink cheeks.
He had never been handed a red ribbon.
The judge told the kids that morning
"If your lamb gets away it is an automatic red"

Just as he was entered the ring TJ bolted and he just couldn't hang on
He persisted
 TJ got away a couple more times, but
he never gave up and he showed his heart out.

What the sheep judge didn't know was that he had already

Showed his steer twice
1st blue and purple in his class
Grand Champion Novice/Junior showman
The Beef Judge told the crowd
"He had the eye of the tiger as soon as he entered the ring"

Showed his meat goat twice
1st blue and purple in his class
Reserve Grand Champion Novice/Junior showman

None of that matters though.
New judge, new ring, new rules.

He worked with that sheep as much as he did his steer and heifer.
They walked up and down our driveway what seemed like a million times.
TJ would follow behind him on a slack halter with no trouble.
They worked on bracing stretched out legs and how to show a nice straight back.
They were great teammates, but
it just wasn't their day.

I hugged him while he cried trying not to cry myself.
He was exhausted, frustrated and disappointed.
He told me 
"I'm not keeping this ribbon... after fair I am throwing it away"
as he hung it on the banner above his sheep pen.
I told him he would be keeping it, to dry his tears and to go congratulate the 
Grand Champion sheep showman.
In our house we teach our kids how to win with grace and how to lose with grace.

Fair for us only left the auction.

Because an auction buyer watched the sheep show and saw his tenacity in the show ring
he got a great price for TJ.
$10.00 a pound.
The man sought us out and told us that the reason he bought TJ was because of The Farm Managers composure and keeping at it during the show.
 Never give up.

That red ribbon is now proudly displayed in his room with all of his other various colored ribbons.
I am equally as proud of that red ribbon as I am of all the other ones hanging in his room.
I know what is behind those ribbons.
The hours of halter breaking, the thousands of pounds of manure scooped, the dollars HE spends buying his animals as well as all their food, the discussions he has with his dad when looking at a calf to buy, the miles driven to pick up animals, the arguing over chores, the millions of steps walked up and down our driveway, the pen building and so much more

when you enter the show ring
it just isn't
your or your animals
Everyone has goals to win blues and purples and our kids are no exception,
but growth comes in hard places, tough shows and sometimes being handed a red ribbon.

Blessed Is Me....

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Passion on Purpose

It's been just a few weeks since I returned from a training weekend in San Diego hosted by
Eufora called Global. 
For those of you, that don't know what Eufora is..
It is the line of hair color and hair care products I use and carry in my salon.
It has taken me weeks to unpack what is swirling inside my brain.

I left with no expectation of what the weekend would hold and honestly I wasn't very excited to go.
I was feeling weary about business
 about being a hairdresser
about life
I was feeling so conflicted about many things.
I felt like I couldn't get my feet underneath myself.
I was ready to hang up my blow dryer and lock the door of the salon forever.
Yes, I'm serious.

I'm tired.
Tired of sub par salon owners who don't invest in their contractors.
Tired of the veiled social media jabs
Tired of the I'm the best and everyone else sucks mentality.
Tired of seeing stylist struggle because they don't know how to use the tools in their tool belt.
Tired of seeing good stylist leave the business.
Tired of my industry not being taken seriously.
I'm sick of it!

At Global there was 
runway shows
loud music
drama in the form of color and clothes
breakout classes
cheers, applause
and there were tears.

We got to listen to the owner of Eufora,
Beth Bewley,
speak about her late husband Don and what their company stands for.
What they stand for.
Eufora is a company run by hairdressers for hairdressers.

I heard words like
 NEVER a master
What we do is on purpose
If you're the best you're leading the rest
you can learn something from anyone no matter how long you or they been in the business.
Leave everyone bigger than you found them
To whom much is given much is expected

A lump rose into my throat and tears welled in my eyes
These! These are my people!
This is what I want.
This is what I want for other hairdressers for other salons!

I've been to many many many hair shows, business classes, cutting and coloring classes, hair extension classes.
I've traveled to and hosted classes in my salon.
Nothing compares to what I heard or what I felt at
Eufora is family.
In the breakout classes you would see Beth slide in and sit down.
The educators would come over to your table and ask about you.
These are all big time hairdressers and educators that travel the world and they want to know about little old Kallie Linder in Astoria, Oregon population not a lot.
Never once did I feel intimidated to ask a question-yes I get intimidated.
Never once did I sense arrogance 

We got to meet the chemist behind the science of Eufora and when we joked that one of the educators told us we could have his phone number he didn't even bat an eye.
I took a business class from a women who owns 6 salons and employs 80 people!
I met a colorist who took a suggestion from a student in a class and took her seriously.
They don't just preach about what they think hairdressers should do they live it.

In one of the breakout classes I took the instructor talked about 
Core Values-what is important in our business
and had us make a list of ours
Values for our business should match values in our life if you ask me.
I started my list:

was the first and it is the one that I keep going back to.
I feel like nothing else matters.
If I don't have integrity as a business owner or as a person I have nothing.
It doesn't matter what my bank account looks like, how many hearts or likes a social post gets, what I drive
the list can go on and on
Without integrity we are bankrupt.

This comes alongside integrity
We have to be honest in our business
honest about processes going from black to blond, pricing, honest in our marketing.
We have to under promise and over deliver and we can't do it without being honest.

If you know me you know I am
a mom and a wife first,
I am
passionate, opinionated, a tight hugger, a Christian, a servant heart and a wanna be farmer.
I can go from stilettos and an evening gown to cow shit covered boots and a baseball cap and be perfectly comfortable in both.
I am who I am without apology.
I also am who I am inside and outside of business.
I don't have time to put on a show or act like something I'm not.

I want to be the type of salon owner that has a team that knows I have their back.
I want them to know that I am their biggest cheerleader and advocate.
I will never ask any of my girls to sacrifice their own values.
I will always stand behind them and be their protector.
A wise person once told me
"Our actions meet our words"
I never want my words to be without weight.

We welcome all walks of life in my business with no exception.
From kids to 120 years old.
From Christians to people recovering from addiction
gay, straight, bi, trans whatever; we got you
If there is a child who is terrified to sit in the salon chair we will sit on the floor; I've done it.
I will accept nothing less than kindness from the people who work in my business or from the clients that sit in our chairs.

We believe in a community of giving, paying it forward and compassion.
We participate in
coat, food, toy and school supply drives.
Adopting families for Christmas.
Numerous donations for various causes.
Wig fittings for cancer patients
haircuts for the homeless
It is wildly important to me that we be apart of our community.

There is no room for arrogance in my business.
There isn't
 We have a highly educated team, but we are always striving for more to fill our knowledge cups.
From newly graduated team members all the way to 20+ experience everyone brings something to the table and everyone can teach something.
People don't' know what they don't know and I want our salon to be a place that is approachable for any stylist to say
"I saw on your (insert social page) would you show me how you did that"

This couples with honesty, authenticity and integrity
 Social business posts need to be about our own business and what we offer.
No filters
No softening
No jabs to other salons or stylists
Again, people don't know what they don't know and we can't jab them for that.

Making money is a must in business it keeps the lights on, but
it isn't what drives me at all.
It doesn't bring me joy and it has no bearing on who I am as a person.
 I wish I could barter for everything including my mortgage.
I think it is a necessary evil and when it becomes the focus bad things happen.

And this was just one class!

My goal as a salon owner is to
come along side every stylist and therapist that works in my business so that they are successful.
It doesn't matter their level of experience or length of time they have worked with me I owe it to them to offer more than just a place to drop their rent check.
They deserve my best and they deserve it honestly and authentically.
In return I expect their best; honestly and authentically.

My goal as a stylist is that
each one of my clients would feel safe with me and know that I value them as people not just as a client in my chair.
I want them to feel full and tall when they leave.

As the weekend waned on I felt my feet firmly on the ground,
I was reminded why I chose to open my own salon.
My heart started to beat for my business again
so much so that I thought or think maybe I should open another salon.

When Beth took the stage for the last time and every single Global educator lined up beside her
 tears welled up in my eyes.
These people get me and they don't even know me.
These people took me to church with their words, with their hearts for hairdressers, with their passion for our business
 and they reminded me why I do what I do.

My hearts desire is to build a community of hairdressers, nail techs, estheticians and massage therapist
that are all the best they can be inside and outside my own business.
I want every salon and every stylist to be successful
I believe there is enough business for every person in our small little county and we all have a niche.
I want to raise the standard of this business to be taken seriously as a career of
confidence, poise and world changers.
We are in a powerful position
one that I will never take for granted.
I want what I do to be on purpose for a purpose.

Blessed Is Me...

Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Best Battle I've Ever Fought

In January Pastor Andy taught about
 leaving Midian 
Midian was a place that Moses lived when he fled Egypt and the Pharoh
Moses lived "the good life" in Midian,
but God came to Moses and sent him back to help the people of Egypt.
He had to leave his good comfortable life to help others.
Not in his power, but in Gods

I know what some of you're thinking
"Oh here she goes getting all churchy"
Stick with me...

If you have:
spent any time with me,
are friends with me on Facebook
read any of my blog posts
you know that I am an over sharer.

I'll even share things that are hard to talk about.
The reason?
I figure someone has to be willing to talk about things so others know they aren't alone.

I've shared publicly about
how i bottle fed both my kids
my abortion
my struggle with postpartum depression
my underwear
and my boob size

I also have no desire to
"play church"
I never want to put on a happy Christian face and pretend we have it all together
because believe me
we are a hot frigging mess most of the time.

Side note:
I believe  that if more Christians started sharing the struggles they have while following God we would have more broken people coming to the cross.
So, please, stop just sharing the sing songy christense.

Back to it..
There has been one thing I've been very guarded with.
One thing that not a lot of people know about.
When Pastor Andy taught about Midian I felt like it was time to
tap it out, but fear has held me back.
Fear still holds as I type.
The words flooded into me and they fill my head
every. single. day.
and everyday I try and push them back out.

So here it is...
Jer and I are just a year over what can only be described as
two years of hell 

The details of this hell don't matter, but let me assure you marriage isn't always
blissful and joy filled.
Sometimes it's
tears, yelling, disappointment, sadness, frustration, brokenness and silence.
Deafening silence.

Two nights stick out most to me of the over 600
The first is when I could no longer hold it all together and keep our secret
 I melted down in the ugly cry kind of way
while part of the wolf pack-our closest friends
hugged, loved and comforted me.
They offered endless support to both of us
in a physical, emotional and prayerful way.

The other.. was the most awful
Our kids lay sound asleep in their beds
Jer sitting outside in his truck
Me slumped over the couch in our pitch black house unable to catch my breath while my heart pounded.
The worst night ever.

I had prayed over and over that our marriage would be healed that we would be healed
We were praying and others were praying for us.
We were battling for our marriage but couldn't get past battling each other.

In a moment of desperation
I prayed fire over my marriage
that if God wasn't going to deliver us from this war that He would
wreck it forever.
I meant it from the depths of my soul
I was tired.
He was tired.

I didn't mean it.
I love Jer a whole big bunch.
I was longing for the days that were so love filled.
The days that he would pick me up and twirl me around kissing me so softly.
The days that butterflies filled my tummy when he rumbled down the driveway.
The days that we knew that together we were unstoppable.

 I now understand how some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers..

So, I did the only thing I knew to do at the urging of my forever friend
I went back to where we started.
Pastor Andy was the man who married us;
I called and he answered.
I sat with him and the sweetest lady, Elsie, from New Life church.
I bawled my face off the super attractive ugly swollen faced cry again and poured out my heart.
I was at a point that I couldn't even get the words out to pray
we weren't going to church much
we were fighting a lot.
fights I never wanted my kids to witness
and yes there were times we didn't even sleep in the same house.

Pastor Andy never told me what we need to do, he never said "how is your walk with The Lord" or any of that other condemning stuff some Christians are so good at saying.
He never even suggested we dig into our bibles and he didn't invite us to his church.

We were barely hanging on and the last thing I could do is read or put on a happy face to try a new church.

He simply offered to pray us through this battle and asked if he could have his prayer team do the same.
Elsie held my hand while I cried.
They both kept in contact with me
and Andy reached out to Jer.

The more they prayed and reached out and
no strings attached the more we
wanted to  get back to church, back to our bibles
back to each other.

Our puzzle was in a million pieces and it seemed impossible that it could ever ever get back to
even close to what it once was.
Slowly, we picked up all of our broken pieces and started to put them back together.
I held some pieces for far too long.
It wasn't easy and it wasn't overnight.

I honestly believe we are stronger today than we ever have been.
We battled hard
at each other and for each other.
We both made mistakes, said and did things we wished we never would have.
Things we can never take back and only offer forgiveness for.

I took my marriage vows seriously
better or worse
sickness  and health

Our marriages are always worth fighting for.
Easy? No!
Worth it? Absolutely.

I'll never forget the day everything changed
for the better.
The day we decided to battle together as a team for our family.

Every battle
Every tear
Every disappointment
Every moment of silence
While so hard was so worth it.
It made us realize
We are better together and together we are unstoppable.

Blessed Is Me...

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Dear, Mad

Today you are 10.
Finally, "double digits"
How did that happen so fast for me and yet took so long for you?

We are more than half way to you being an adult!

Daddy cried the day you were born because he loves you so much. 
It was the day our family was completed.
You were born a perfect little bundle with fair skin and dark hair.
Many of the hospital staff mentioned that you were the most beautiful baby they had ever seen. 
In fact Dr. B had reported to his staff how pretty you were that when we walked into your first appointment after leaving the hospital everyone came out to the office lobby to see you.

As you grew so did you hair.
The most beautiful curls I have ever seen on such a little girl.

Your eyes have always been full of sparkle with a smidgen of mischief.

I love getting to watch you find your way, your style and your zest for life.
I miss they days of your zany outfits.
My favorite will always be your swimsuit top over your shirt

and your first recital dress over jeans.

I love the way you adore your dad; 
the way you wrap him up around your finger and bat your eyes at him.
The way daughters love their dads is just different.
When you wrap your arms around his neck and he closes his eyes soaking in your warm embrace I know for a moment time stands still for him.
When you're older you'll know just how much he loves you back 
and that some decisions he has made have been just for you.
He will stand behind you encouraging you, pushing you to do more and be better.
He will forever be on your side.
Someday when you walk through the double doors of the church with your groom waiting on the other end it'll be your daddy standing with you holding your hand tight.
No matter how old you are you'll always be that porcelain skinned dark haired bundle
to him.

I love going shopping for make up and having girls days with you.
When you're finally old enough for real make up
we will make a whole day out of it.
I might even take you to Nordstrom; if you're lucky.

I love that you never back down from a challenge.
Whether it is dancing a solo performance

or showing livestock

 You go full steam for what you want.

I love that you're not afraid to say whats on your mind.
You get that from me.
Some people might call you bossy and let me assure you
that isn't a bad thing!
We are leaders
 front of the pack kind of girls

You are going to change lives my sweet girl
Both with your ambition and your heart.
You love bigger than anyone I know.
Your compassion for others is immeasurable.
I can't wait to see where you go and what you do.
I know it's going to be amazing. 
I'll be your loudest cheerleader.

I love the way you love.
You love outloud.
The way you rock and comfort Rae and Brantley with a soft whisper and a gentle pat on the back never letting it frustrate you even when they are crying.

The way you hold a smaller child's hand as you lead them down to the barn sharing the rules of no running or screaming.

They way you worry when your friends aren't at school because maybe they are sick.
You have such a tender touch and a compassionate heart with people and animals alike.

I love to watch you sleep.
Your long black lashes resting
It makes me wonder..
what will tomorrow bring
a new adventure, a new dream
maybe you'll sew me a pillowcase or create a new outfit
maybe make a new dessert
or slip on your barn boots for a day outside.

I can't wait to see where you'll go
who you'll become and
what you will do every moment in between.

I can promise you this.
I am your biggest fan
I'll always stand up for what is right for you.
You might not always like me, but know that the decisions made are what Daddy and I believe are best at the time.
The teen years might be tough for both of us, but we will make it through.
Daddy and I will catch you every time
We will pick you up when you stumble and we will love you through every single part of your life.

I pray
That you always have a heart for people.
That you see the good in the world.
That you love big and forgive fast.
That you always know that you are the daughter of King Jesus and that He will forever go before you
That you know are fearfully and wonderfully made
desired and cherished.
That you know you're worth far more than rubies

I love you big, my sweet girl.

As Charlotte says in Charlotte's Web
"You are my magnum opus.. my great work"

I hope your tenth year is full of wonder and love.

Blessed Is Me...

Sunday, January 24, 2016

How Project Madalyn Picks Out Her Own Clothes Was Born

A few days ago I tapped out
in which I talked about my 
white flag.

It's when I decided to surrender to the battle that was getting 
The Fancy Farm Girl
dressed for the day.

If you know me even a little you probably know I am
Type A
I'm totally flexible as long as things are done the way I think they should be.
I am a leader some say bossy even intimidating.
I also am passionate about a lot of things.
My daughter looking just right used to be one of them. 
I knew before she was born what kind of clothes she would wear and how she would be
oh so cute everyday in cute little pigtails and matching clothes
complete with shoes and ruffle socks.
I even claimed
"My daughter will NEVER wear clothes that don't match!"
I like things kind of perfect.

Then she turned three and I realized..
She is totally flexible as long as things are done the way she thinks they should be.
she is bossy and
definitely a leader.
 She has eyes that will melt your heart, she has beautiful hair, she loves babies, she loves playing school, 
She is just like me except she likes things perfectly imperfect.

Getting her ready in the morning was a battle most days. 
I would bribe her with jelly beans to get pig tails in her hair.
 I would pick out her clothes she would have a fit because she didn't like what I picked out. 
I would say "you are wearing what I want you to wear"
She would melt down, I would sweat. 
It wouldn't be very much fun.

In 2010
our friends had their lives turned upside down with the death of their 4 year old daughter.
There I was sitting at the memorial celebrating the life of Ashlynn Anderson  
as Pastor Andy read a letter her mom wrote. 
D'ette wrote about Ashlynn and how she would pick out her own clothes everyday sometimes even princess dress and would always be so proud of herself. 
It was as if time stood still and the words replayed over and over in my head as tears streamed down my face.
Proud of herself? 
What a concept in parenting. 
It was on that day that I decided I had to let go of making Madalyn look how I thought she needed to look, let her be proud of herself and to be herself.
She may be like me, but she isn't me.

At first this was super hard! 
She would get dressed and I would cringe.
 I decided as long as she had clean clothes on I would let it ride. 
Then the idea of Project Madalyn Picks Out Her Own Clothes began.
When she had a crazy outfit on I would take her picture and believe me some outfits were rough.
She would get looks, she would gets comments always good and she was always proud of herself.
 I would get eye rolls from disapproving mothers, I would get comments both good and bad and
 I was proud of myself.

Mornings would go smooth.
No more tears, yelling, frustrations or bribes!
She would look in the mirror after getting dressed and say

"I look good!"

I would actually look forward to seeing what she put together
I no longer worried about what other moms would think and when she would get looks and I would get a disapproving eye roll I never felt 
like I needed to explain and say
   "she picks out her own clothes" 
I just smiled at her, grabbed her hand and moved on. 

If you are fighting battles with you kids like these I would encourage you to step back and look at it from a different view. 
Will it matter tomorrow if she wears a

 pink fleece hat  and pink gloves with a black and white checked party dress today? 

Or a swimsuit top over her shirt with jeans?
 This was a favorite she also paired with cowboy boots.

 Or her recital dress and a crown with her jeans to church?

Or this? Oh my what is this???

Or these shorts that she paired with a lot of different leggings
That shirt became one of her favorites.

Or that she is wearing a skirt as a shirt!

Or when she wears bracelets on her bicep and those boots are covered in silver glitter.

 Sometimes she would even put things together I wish I had thought of!
 I mean this girl has some style!

It doesn't matter one single bit and if it wasn't for the pictures I took I wouldn't even remember most of her outfits.
The lessons we teach our kids can be profound in letting them learn to make choices, feeling proud of themselves
 and letting them know we love them regardless of what they wear.

I would never had expected this lesson from a  4 year old princess who loved purple and dancing on her toes and today is "eating cookies for breakfast with Jesus"
As Madalyn would say.

Blessed Is Me...

Thursday, January 21, 2016

I Promise You

Life is fleeting
It changes faster than we expect and our kids go from tender little soft skinned bundles of chubby deliciousness
to sassy mouthed know-it-all 
People with thoughts and opinions.
I wish I could go back and have a redo on some of the squishy moments I wished away.

Thankfully our life has little lives in it again.
Little lives that we get to love and snuggle and rock to sleep.
We get to dance with them when they cry.
We get to kiss them all over their faces; for now.

It made me realize things that I didn't enjoy as a mom.
I couldn't wait for them to end.
The sleepless nights
The diapers
The lack of being able to hold a bottle or feed themselves.
I missed so so much.

So, new moms I have some promises for you.

I promise you that the opinion of the internet means nothing.
I know it is overwhelming
I know it makes you feel inadequate sometimes it does me too.
There is much to pour through.
Filter most of it out.
Nobody knows your baby like you do.

I promise you 
that the nights you spend rocking a crying baby wont last forever and when those nights are gone you'll wonder how you ever did it.
I had a baby who cried a lot and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over one.
I wished he would have and now I wish I could have one more night rocking him while he drank his bottle. 
I wish I hadn't wished it away.

I promise you 
that whether you breast or bottle feed they will be ok.
You'll be ok too.

I promise you
 that they'll want to secretly hold your hand while they fall asleep even when they are 11.

I promise you
 that all mothers feel like they are failing.
You aren't.

I promise 
when they tell you that "you're lousy parents" 
That they really mean they love you.

I promise you
 that the mess in the house doesn't matter.
The sugar and flour spread from the kitchen counter to the floor with eggs whites on the wall will create smiles and memories.
The dishes piled high aren't going anywhere.
The baskets of laundry can wait.
Sit. Read. Play. Rock.

I promise you 
that you can dress you babies in the cutest matchy matchy dresses with tights and ruffle butts and patent leather shoes in hopes that they will forever want to be fancy and frilly and then 
they will want to pick out their own clothes.
You may battle, but eventually you'll raise your white flag and she'll be wearing a swimsuit top over her shirt with jeans and cowgirl boots.
And, it'll be ok even though fellow mothers will look down their nose at you.
Smile and wave and grab your little girls hand.

I promise you
there is no such thing as too many people that love and cherish your kids.

I promise you
they will wreck you physically, mentally and emotionally
and you'll be better for it.
It's a love you have never felt
selfless love
 an ache deep in your belly when you miss them 
and you wont even care that your boobs hang low.
Ok you might, but it'll be worth it.

I promise you 
before you know it
your baby will be wearing size 7 mens shoes and wearing deodorant or heading into the double digits with the hair you've always dreamed of.
They'll still want you to tuck them in tight and kiss them goodnight, but never kiss them in front of their friends.

I promise you
You're doing better than you think.
Enjoy every single moment.
They wont be little very long.

Blessed Is Me...

Sunday, January 3, 2016

From My Grandmas Kitchen

If you've spent any time with me you probably know how much I cherished my
To me she was a gem above all gems.
A tough as nails shell with a heart of gold
an embrace that you would melt into.
 We may be a little bit alike.

This past weekend I was sorting through her recipe box and came across her 
famous recipe for
sourdough pancakes.

Memories flooded back
to the days I would go and
spend the night with her in Knappa at the old Johnson farmhouse.
After dinner she would fill up a giant bath of bubbles
and set out a long nightgown for me to slip on afterwards.
At bedtime I would get nestled under the heavy quilt that covered the old cast iron bed frame in the bedroom next to the parlor.
She would snuggle me in tight and kiss me goodnight.

When morning came she would already be in the kitchen getting breakfast going.
I never remember eating a bowl of cold cereal at her house.
The smell of bacon would fill the old house.
Grandpa Cliff would usually already be outside feeding the cows, but he would be back in time for breakfast.
She would pull up a stool and let me beat the egg whites as she prepared the pancake batter.
She would always let me help.
This is something I am terrible at as I like cooking alone.
 I really need to work on letting the kiddos come alongside me!

After sorting through her recipes last Friday I made plans that
today, Sunday, I would try my hand at her sourdough pancakes.

I found a recipe for sourdough starter on a homesteader page I follow on Facebook.
1 cup flour
1 cup water heated to 90 degrees
1/8 teaspoon yeast
mix with wooden or plastic utensil.
I used a mason jar and a wooden spoon handle and tucked it in the fridge.

Today when I pulled out the recipe to get started I realized I was supposed to start it last night.
Well, because I am impatient I tried it anyways and it worked 
Next time I will do it the correct way.

Mix the night before
2 cups flour
2 cups milk
7 tbsp of starter -use plastic not metal measuring-
Let stand overnight- I assume on the counter

Next morning return 7 tbsp back to starter mix, cover and put back in the fridge.

Separate 4 eggs and beat whites until stiff peaks
 Stiff peaks means when you take the beater out the peak doesn't bend at the top

Combine in the bowl of flour, milk, starter
4 yolks
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
3 tsp baking powder
3 tbsp oil
3 tbsp sugar
wisk together then
fold in egg whites leaving chunks.

When you pour the batter on the hot griddle those chunks rise to the top

and when you flip them over the puff to about 1" thick!

Grandma Ethel used to serve with a bowl of white sugar for sprinkling so that is what I topped them with.

I taste tested them before I set them out for breakfast and when they crossed my lips
it got me in the feels
The lump in my throat kind of
They tasted just how I remembered...
It's probably been since I was 12 that I had these delicious cakes of goodness!
 27 years later.

The kids gobbled them up and Jer even ate more than he usually does and he isn't a big pancake fan.
The Farm Manager even made a comment tonight about how good they were.

I decided on January 1st after sorting through her recipe box  that I am going to write a book.
My first will be a compilation of my grandma's recipes with stories of us.
This means I am going to get to spend some time in the kitchen recreating all those wonderful and sometimes odd recipes that she loved enough to scroll onto a notecard.
I will also be learning how to let little hands help in the kitchen so that they have memories that creep in unexpectedly and hopefully flood their hearts like mine has been today.
I have the stool ready.

Blessed Is Me...