Sunday, August 26, 2012

60 years of being best friends.

Last weekend we celebrated Jer's grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. They truly are the kindest most loving people you will meet. It is obvious that when you are with them that they are madly in love with and cherish each other. They always hold hands (grandma says it is cause they are holding each other up) and their love spills over onto their kids, grand kids, and great grand kids.

I once had a new client come in and tell me that my grandma referred her to me. It was actually Jer's grandma cause both mine have passed away. Anyways the lady went on to tell me they were waiting in line at Safeway to get their flu shots and she had noticed a couple that were obviously in love and must have just gotten married that they were holding hands and being very attentive to one another. I told my new client that they had been married for 55 years! She was shocked to see that a couple could be married so long and still have love like that.

I recently asked Grandma how she thought they made it 60 years. She told me it was "faith in God." I then asked her if she would write us a letter explaining it to us. Our kids get to see them quite often, but our grand kids may not and I think it is a treasure our whole family would like to have. After some hesitation she agreed and I am so glad!

I am a little computer illiterate and can't figure out how to scan this so you can read it. Here is what it says...

Dear family,
Awhile back Kallie asked me to write a letter sharing with everyone why we thought our marriage lasted 60 years. After a lot of soul searching, I finally agreed.

Going way back to the beginning, I remember my Mother teaching me and important lesson on what I should look for in a husband. She said the more things you have in common, the better the chances your marriage would survive. There would be fewer serious issues for you to disagree on. Faith in God and having the same moral traits were very important issues. Both Dick and I grew up in home with Parents who were practicing Catholics. Church was very important in both our families. My mother would always write the first check of each month for their church support. Her reasoning being that if you ran out of money before the end of the month, you had already paid God first and he wouldn't be shortchanged. She knew that all that you give to God will come back many time over. One of her other lessons was on dating. She would only let me date Catholic boys. Her argument for this policy was simple. if you date these boys only, you will find a mate among them who shares a strong moral bond with you. Important common traits.

When Dick and I married on August 16, 1952, the times were much simpler, as was our wedding. I paid for the wedding myself, including my mom and dad's suits. Dad grew the gladiolas I used to decorate the church. People didn't go into hock to have lavish affairs. The marriage itself was the focus. No rehearsal dinner, no booze or sit down dinners. Just cake, nuts, candy, punch and coffee. We had our wedding Mass at 10:00 in the morning followed by a breakfast at the hotel for the bridal party and their parents. this was a necessity as we had to fast from midnight to receive Holy Communion in those days, and we were all hungry. then we had the simple reception at the a hall at 2:00 in the afternoon. that is how things were done then. As I said, times were simpler back then, and divorce was unheard of.

You go through lots of stages in a marriage. The first 25 years are the hardest. They first years are full of adjustments. Melding meal times, food preferences, chores and finances. Then when you have children, the marriage has more love, more joy, and more adjustments; discipline, diapers and more chores to share. Wonderful time and challenges raising kids. An enriching process which leaves great everlasting memories of time and love shared.

We were truly blessed in the children stage. As I said, times were much simpler back then. The kids grew up being able to play outside until dark without parents worrying about them. TV was in it's beginning in the 50's, and as were most families, we were mesmerized by the whole thing. This cut into cards and game times but we survived. Barely. Money was always tight when the kid were growing up, so we enjoyed simple family fun. Camping, swimming, fishing, and Sunday car rides followed by simple ice cream cones.

Then all too soon, you're at the empty nest stage. Hopefully, you've continued to nurture the love you have for each other and you can look over at your spouse and see your best friend, not some stranger. it was during this alone time that Dick and I started our evening glass of wine, which was an acquired taste for me. The first one home from work poured the wine, and then we sat together and share our day and other things going on. It was a special time of day for us.

We moved into the retirement stage on the same day, December 31, 1993. Jobs now behind us, we were excited about where our travels were going to take us and all the new friends we would be able to meet, and hoped we had planned adequately. Fortunately, we both like to travel in our RV, and found it a a wonderful rewarding experience. We have had many good memories of our trips.

The last stage is dealing with aging and health issues. The mind says "sure you can do it", but the body says "I don't think so".  We are grateful for the loving support of our family at this time. They are always there for us when we need them, just a phone call away. Many of our friend are not so lucky. We are also grateful that we've been able to take turns with our serious operations, so we could be strong for each other when the other one was having a health issue. That "in sickness and health" vow is priceless.

With all these stages to build on, besides being husband and wife, we are each others best friend. That has not changed in our sixty years together. You can't go wrong marrying your best friend.

There aren't words to explain what it is like to be part of this family with Dick and Betty at the helm. They just love that is it. It is a simple love. They love you right were you are, they love you when you are down and will extend a hand to help you up, they love you when you are up and will lift you even higher, they just love you plain and simple. I wish everyone could see and share in what we get to see all the time.

Blessed is me.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Girls day!!

Madalyn and I planned to have a girls day today since Daddy would be at work and Jameson would be at kids camp!

Since Saturday Mad has had a rash on her neck and chin. It appeared to be an allergic reaction to something cause she felt fine and didn't have a fever.

We planned a quick trip to the urgent care, but our quick trip turned into over 2 hours. Who knew they would be so busy? The allergic reaction turned out to be hot tub folliculitis. You can read about that here if you want to. No worries it will go away on it's own and isn't contagious! On to GIRLS DAY!

Next we headed over to Marie Antoinette's cupcakes. I knew she would LOVE it there. She had a delish vanilla cupcake and I had a chai. We traded frosting cause she didn't like the vanilla so much. She informed me of where she would put her furniture if that was her bedroom. If you haven't been there you should stop in for a treat. They are really yummy!

The we were off to Madalyn's 2nd favorite store. Staples! Macy's is her 1st favorite. This girls loves office supplies almost as much as she loves clothes.  

We really lived life on the edge today. Mad sat in the FRONT seat! Judge if you want, but I loved rocking out to Pontoon and Something bout a truck with her.

We stopped by to see Grammy and Mad was glad to see she was "back on her feet."

Came home and made some zucchini bread from Mrs. Krafts cookbook. Here is the recipe if you want to try it out.

We rounded out the day having a picnic with Daddy who was mowing our field. A yummy dinner of pork chops, roasted beets, fresh green beans, and GIANT blueberries from my dear friend Diana. 

She must have had a fun day cause I not only got a note from her she paperclipped a piece of gum to the note. If you know Mad she isn't a big sharer of her gum.
She is now crashed on the sofa snuggled under a blanket. She sleeps in a sweatshirt and sweats just like I do. I don't suggest waking either one of us up unless you like poking a bear with a stick. Just pick us up and carry us to bed. I hope she enjoyed today as much as I did.

Blessed is me..