Friday, September 27, 2013

10 years

I have been Mrs. Linder for 10 years today!
Oh what a year we have had.
Honestly, at times it was really hard.
A couple weeks ago we were on a dinner date and we were talking about the last year and we decided that it was by far the toughest year we have had.
We had trial after trial.

Seeing your husband with a 104 fever so sick and in such pain that he is rocking himself will shake you to the core! Jameson had just gotten over having pneumonia. He was nice and shared it with Daddy. We had three bouts of it in a month.
 Jer is the strength in our family and to see him physically out of commission was so scary and heartbreaking. Hands down worst day ever.

I officially hate money.
It is so stressful when you don't have enough and it causes great strife.
Luckily, we are both hard workers and we just kept plugging along.
We experienced major answered prayers in this department.
We needed $1000.00, so I prayed and that day one of my clients bought a gift certificate for just that amount.
 I know some of you will call that coincidence..that's ok I know it wasn't.
This was a great lesson in communication for us even though at times the talking was a little loud.

We have never ever ever fought or argued as much as we did this year.
There were many nights we laid next to each other in bed without ever saying one word the entire day or night.
Silence is REALLY hard for me, but I know that sometimes less is more.
These were really really hard days.
More than once I thought it would be easier to throw in the towel; out of desperation.

We also had break through after break through.
We are coming out of this stronger in so many ways.
Stronger in marriage.
Stronger in ourselves.
Stronger in faith.
We know that together we can conquer anything.
We are better at communicating even the really hard stuff.

There were days when Jer would come home and all it took was him looking at me to make me burst into tears. He without hesitation would grab me and hug me through it with no words until I could get it back together. For me, I need to work things through with someone even if it is just a hug.
I know that hug to some is just a hug, but to me it is strength comfort and love.

The way I feel when Jer wraps his arms around me is peaceful and safe even on the worst days.

There were days when he would come home and just head outside. I knew this meant he needed space; not a hug. Jer works things through in his head. He recharges by being home and being alone. This is something I am learning even after 10 years of marriage.

I prayed; a lot
and I had a group of warriors praying us through it too.
I am forever grateful to them.
and we did it.

We can't expect that every year is going to be easy or that just because the years stack up that it becomes routine. Every year we grow and change and trials are to be expected.
Jer's Grandma Betty told me
"once you make it to your 20th anniversary the rest is cake"

Not every day has been easy, but every day has had love, love, love.
In every up down and all around Jeremy Ryan has my heart tucked safely inside his where it will stay until the day after forever.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Mark 10:9

Blessed Is Me...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Pefect timing.

Last year about this time we called Sam Hess to see about doing some logging on our 20 acre parcel. We went through all the proper channels.
Called the Forestry Department to apply for a permit.
They came out with Sam and looked at the maps of our property and decided that we have two "bird circles" and a "fish run"
We do have birds and tons of them. Doves, eagles, owls and loads more.
We don't have a fish anything. We have ditches in our field that haven't always been there.
They are dry in the summer.
The answer from the Forestry Dept. was a kind of a yes if we could get it done in a very small window of time due to the eagle nest and their little eaglets.
 So short in fact that the answer was really a no.
 We decided the window of time wasn't big enough as we were coming up against the rainy season which would bring a giant mess of mud and ruts.
We had planned to use the money from logging to pay some bills etc.. nothing fun, but necessary. I wish that being an adult came with less responsibility!
We were disappointed in the stringent rules, that we can't do what we want to on our own property and frustrated that our plan wasn't going to work, but what can you do?

Fast forward
Two of our neighbors; one on each side logged their property.
Outside of the window we were given to log.
What the?! How can that be? Surely if we have eagles on our property they have eagles on theirs.
I am not talking that we see an eagle now and then we have a swarm of them. Sometimes too many to count. Surely they aren't all born on our land.
The Farmer decided to stop and talk to Sam (who was doing the logging down the road) and see if maybe we could apply again for a logging permit.
Sam called the Forestry Dept. to inquire. 
They remembered our property and didn't need to come out again, but instead gave permission to log!
Um?? OK! 

We were logging within days.
Early on a Wednesday just as day was breaking Sam was here unloading equipment and fired up his saw soon after.
Tree after tree hit the ground.
Logs were stacking up in the field.
Load after load left for the mill.
Contracts came in the mail and then the checks.
There were more trees than we thought and the price was much better than last year.
Then it hit me.
This was the plan all along.
Not our plan; Gods plan.

You see, our financially situation is very different this year. 
We don't have to use the money to pay bills. 
We GET to use the money for our future.

The Farmer was able to buy a tractor. 
It is shiny and brand new.
His dad delivered it a couple weekends ago and it has been working to brush hog and mow ditches.
The tractor and The Farmer have been hard at work getting our property back in farming order.
We have a list of things that need to be done to become a working farm and now we get to check some of those things off the list.
Praise God.

Today The Farmer pull on his Muck boots and headed out  to do chores in the wind and rain.
 When I watched from the window as he drove his tractor out of the stable and down the driveway I can't help but feel thankful that there is a bigger plan for us.
Sometimes it is frustrating when we can't see the plan, but when the plan begins to open and starts to make sense I have renewed hope.

Our plans aren't always His plans.
This proves to me (again) that His plans are bigger and better than ours.
We just need to have patience and trust.
Never early; Never late; always in perfect time.

Blessed is me..

Saturday, September 14, 2013


A war is waging!
It is me against the flies.
I am losing.
These little sons a bitches are taking over my house!
I have tried everything; and I mean EVERYTHING!
I have done the bag of water over the door, apple cider vinegar in a glass, essential oils, fly strips, cloves in fruit, Rescue fly trap bag and jars, (<---- those bags and jars smell like flesh is rotting!) wine, honey, hairspray and a fan.
It seems like one of those would work.
I mean they are working for other people I know so why not me?
"I have hundreds in the bottom of a glass" my friend tells me.
 The jerks are still swarming my kitchen, laundry room, bedroom, both bathrooms and living room!
I tossed the fruit basket, cleaned the fridge, wiped down every surface, bought new sink drain baskets, the trash is emptied often so today I resorted to the vacuum!
I wait for them to land and suck the little SOB's right where they are resting.

Only problem is they are quick to fly off so I miss sometimes.

Not to mention I look like a complete loon carrying the vacuum from room to room.

I am weary to use any sort of poison spray because I don't want that in our house, but I am getting desperate.
Worse yet these disgusting creatures only live about a day, but can lay 500 eggs in that day!

Great so know I have fly larva (MAGGOTS!) somewhere!
Maggots? I am going to Home Depot RIGHT NOW to look at what other options I haven't tried!

Blessed is me...?

Friday, September 6, 2013


We made it!
The first week of school is under our belts. It is always a hectic week getting back on schedule. 
The kids weren't super excited to get back to the 7:30 bedtime, but by last night they were out in minutes. Thank goodness cause I fell asleep soon after.

I offered to bring the kids to school all week, but by day two Jameson was tired of waiting for me to get ready for work so he chose the bus. Little did he know that by the time the bus got to Aspmo Road we were right behind him.

Madalyn has only had one slight meltdown about what to wear to school
I wanted her to wear leggings, but she said

The task of packing lunches has been handed over to them sandwiches included.
Last year Jer made their sandwiches, but they are fine to do it themselves now. Only a little bit of peanut butter and jelly gets on the counter.
In order to ensure that they are eating healthy snacks and enough of them I started a snack bin area in our pantry.
We have 3 bins.
1 has assorted crackers
1 has fruit leather, twists and no sugar added fruit cups
and 1 has granola bars and cookies
They can pick one item from each bin add a juice pouch and a cheese stick from the fridge.
It has helped me to feel good about what they are eating for lunch, but letting them feel good about having choices.
This week their lunch sacks have come home empty!
They are STARVING when they get home and go straight for the fridge.

This morning Madalyn wanted to sleep in and Jameson suggested that since it had been so stormy last night that we stay home from school today. Both great ideas I thought, but we persevered and made it through Friday.

Tonight wasn't as smooth sailing and it's true I yelled at Jameson. Sometimes he can FRUSTRATE me!
Me: "Jameson please put your shoes and sock on so we can leave"
Jameson comes back with shoes on
Me: "Do you have socks on?"
Jameson: "No! socks make my feet sweat and I don't like it"
Me: "I asked you to put socks on and I'd like you to do what I ask"
Jameson: "I don't want to these AREN'T sweat socks they are just socks and they make me sweat and it makes my shoes stinks"
Me: "get your socks and shoes on so we can leave!"
Jameson: "Fine!"

After getting some food in their tummy's things settled down and all the arguing stopped as well as the yelling. Now the kids are snuggled in watching a movie, yawning with heavy eyes. 
I am sure that Jameson will be up at the crack of 5:30 and Madalyn will sleep as long as Jameson lets her. He usually "accidentally" wakes her up.

All and all it was a smooth week of getting back in the swing of more scheduled days.
 Jameson has Mrs. Herr this year and he really likes her so far. She is a younger teacher and has a very gentle demeanor and seems pretty organized. 
Just what he likes.
Madalyn has what many have referred to as the "dream team"
She has two teachers that are job sharing this year.
Mrs Grauff and Mrs. Biederman.
They are both teaching 2 days one week and 3 days the next.
I am really excited about this set up because both teachers get to teach to their strengths and will have plenty of rest time after wrangling 25+ 2nd graders!
Mad is happy because she has some friends in her class.

I think this year is going to be full of learning new things, stretching our wings, making new friends and I am sure a little bit of yelling. Well, because I am a yeller.

Blessed is me..

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Girls only!

So, last week I sat down to the computer and logged onto the Nordstrom website to purchase myself some new bras.
I thought since we had finally closed on our home refi after 7 months and we don’t have a mortgage this month I would treat myself to some new bras and underwear.
Pretty exciting huh!
Well, I loath buying bras. I really don’t think there is anything I like doing less. I would rather be water boarded, touch a slug, poke my own eye with a hot stick ANYTHING other than buy bras.
You see when I was in middle school I woke up one morning with boobs bigger than most peoples head.
No, seriously they grew overnight.
Pre pregnancy wasn’t such a big deal because my breasts were full at the top AND bottom
I could wear lacy demi bras that always came with matching undies.
So pretty.
When your bra and panties match that surely means you really have it together!
Then came Jameson and my boobs grew again despite not ever getting milk in
they never shrank back.
Madalyn comes just 19 months later and you guessed it bigger…, but no milk.
You’d think at the size of these things I’d be able to nurse a small country, but nope not even one baby.
(don’t get me started on breastfeeding and bonding and how I should have tried pumping blah blah blah. Did it. HATED it. My kids are fine, smart, healthy and yes bonded to me.. even though they had the dreaded formula)
Well, after that my nice full top breasts became long empty, full bottom, saggy boobs.
Size you ask???
That’s right folks bras come in H.
I’ve heard all the comments and been pitied by the Nordstrom sales gal
“oh you poor thing if you were just bigger around we would have a better selection”
“If your breasts were more full on the top these bras would fit better”
Oh thanks, I feel much better.
I love getting fitted too. The sales lady always has me put on a fitting bra which never fits and they always make a face of disgust at the sight of how it fits. I don’t really understand the point of the fitting bra. I also don’t want to think of how many women have put that thing on because it is always just hanging in the fitting room.
They then come back with a pile of bras that they help my put on. It goes something like this:
clasp bra
bend at waist while the poor girl grabs the sides of the bra and tries with all her might to shake my boobs into place.
Stand up
Tuck boob under arm into bra
Tuck boob spilling out the top into bra
Remove bra
The colors?
Black and Beige
I mean beige? Who wouldn’t love a beige bra? Ooo lala
Is beige even a color?
The straps?The straps of these bras could tow a truck! Not kidding
Panties to match?
 Nope, I just can’t wear beige panties.
The clasps?
There is 3 and I think it is two inches wide!
The kicker is they cost 88 bucks!
That’s right ladies I get to pay almost 100 clams for a bra that is BEIGE and could double as a tow strap!
In all seriousness though I am thankful for the ladies at Nordstrom and they really do work hard to find me a bra that fits just right and I have just succumbed to the fact that my bra will either be black or beige. And so help me if they stop making the bra that fits me just right I might lose it!
If you ever find yourself in an emergency situation that requires a tow strap; call me I can probably help

Blessed is me…