Monday, June 25, 2012

Jameson Rockefeller Linder

Tomorrow Jameson turns 8. I can't believe the day has come that he will no longer need to sit in a booster seat. I know he has long been big enough to not sit in one, but I wasn't ready for that. He is more than ready.

Eight years ago Jer was feverishly working on our first home. We were living in his parents "little house" which is one big room and a bathroom with our two dogs. Think hotel room. Jer would work all day then head over to the house for more work. Lucky for us most of the work was painting, recarpeting and cleaning. Nothing like our latest house remodel with studs slipping out of the walls.

Some things that I remember about June 25th and 26th:
I worked at Bellisima Salon and Julie Bay was my first client that day.
Julie told me I was in labor as soon as she saw me.
I had a rare short day at work so I went home early cause I was so tired and my back was killing me.
I had called Jer and asked him to please come home right after work cause I wasn't feeling good.
My dogs wouldn't leave me alone. If I was sitting they sat next to me. If I laid on they bed they were on the bed.
I was in labor just as Julie had said.
I went in to maternity to be checked and I was dialating, but chose to go home instead of staying.
I should have stayed.
Jer stopped in the hay field to tell his dad Larry I was in labor on our way back home.
We didn't stay home very long.
Upon re-arrival at the hospital we needed to go thru the ER and I laid down in the door way to have a contraction and then again in the hallway. (Laying in the doorway of the ER will get the staff to rush over to you)
Labor was fast and I was sure Jameson would rip our my back.
Jer was amazing and I couldn't have had him any closer.
One of the nurses smelled like cheap hairspray and she yelled at me to stop pushing as I was puking my guts out and my water was breaking.
I thought I peed in the bed.
I hated the jacuzzi and wanted out as soon as they got it filled up and turned on cause it was getting my hair wet.
I needed a c-section cause Jameson was trying to come out chin up face first.
Our parents weren't there cause they all expected that I would be in labor for hours.
Dr. Cahill was amazingly calm and so reassuring.
I saw Jer cry for the first time ever as they wheeled me away for surgery. He joined me within minutes.
Surgery is a blur.
I don't remember anything until I was wheeled back to our room where Jer was holding a yet to be named baby boy that would soon be Jameson Rockefeller Linder.
My dad was my most frequent visitor besides Jer.
Michael Larsen brought Jer breakfast from Andrew & Steves when he came to see us.

Somethings people told me:
The nurses told me Jer was the most calm attentive husband they had seen.
Jer's mom told me when she walked into maternity Jer was walking down the hall holding a baby and latched onto her sobbing.
Jer told me he "was like a duck" calm on the surface, but his feet were going crazy under the water.

For me Jameson was a dream come true. I have always wanted to be a mom and now I have been for 8 years. Jameson is so kind, he loves animals, he is a great speller, likes math and drawing. He is shy and afraid to try new things for fear of not being good. He really wants to win a trophy. Sports "isn't really his thing", He is an early riser. He writes songs and notes telling us he loves us. He picks on his sister and drives me crazy. He loves to highlight in his bible. He doesn't make new friends easy. He loves sloppy joes and tacos. He would eat cheese "not melted" in a tortilla everyday. He loves the Ducks. He will politely decline anything with OSU or the Beavers on it. In eight more years he will be driving. No matter what comes I am his mom and I love him more than he will ever know.

Blessed is me..

Sunday, June 17, 2012

GASP! I have dishpan hands.

A few weeks back I was at Costco. I was headed back to get dog food and I passed by a vendor handing out Jet Dry samples.
Costco Dude : "would you like a sample of our Jet Dry dish washer tabs"
Me: "No thanks I don't have a dishwasher"
Lady: "GASP! (to her friend) did you hear that? she said she doesn't have a dishwasher! can you believe she doesn't have a dishwasher?"

That is right folks I don't have a dishwasher. Jer and I wash our dishes by hand (I'm pretty sure Jer does most of them). I wonder if we would hear that same kind of gasp by these statistics:

~That about 500 million people in the world are chronically hungry. Most of them are children. More than 30,000 of them die each day of hunger-related causes. (
~that there are 145 MILLION orphans worldwide. (UNICEF)
~In 2009 332,278 abortions were performed by Planned Parenthood alone. That is one every 95 seconds! (
~There are 2 million repeat drunk drivers on the road at any given time. (
~In 2011 there were 234 homeless students in Clatsop County (
~In 2010 there were 1.8 million AIDS related deaths. (

My focus gets so consumed by all that I don't have, all that I think that I need, and my wants. What  my focus should be on what I can do to help a child go to bed in a warm home or with a full tummy. I should be reaching out to mothers who think their only way out of unwanted pregnancy is to terminate a beating heart. In fact it is my duty as a follower of Jesus to do all of that and yet instead I worry about all the "stuff" I don't have.

Imagine if we all lent a helping hand and never thought about what kind of repayment we would get or if we would be honored for our giving. What if we gave so selflessly so that another never had to go without?

Do not seek your own advantage, but that of the other. 1 Corinthians 10:24

Blessed is me <3

Saturday, June 9, 2012

This is me...

I am: Jeremy's wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a business owner, a Christian, a Republican, a giver of charity, everybody's mother, a hairdresser, a cousin, forgiven, a niece, a grand daughter, a faux mom.

I love: Jeremy, Jameson, Madalyn, Jesus, sleeping, coffee, love, the girls who work with me, my house, my parents, my brother, my in-loves, toast at night, peanut butter cups, my pillow hoodies, wearing Jeremy's socks, my friends, quiet mornings, hugs, HOT showers.

I am afraid of: slugs (I know..), water, snakes, disappointing people, that some I love wont ever go to heaven.

I have: been divorced, had an abortion, (I am sing it from the mountains pro- life) wanted to be a mom for as long as I remember, been Jeremy's wife for almost 9 years, miscarried, been a mom for almost 8 years, lived in a travel trailer, drank too much, learned to lean on faith, made mistakes, helped people, been helped, learned hard lessons, been saved, been a hairdresser for almost 19 years.

I miss: my grandma Ethel, simple days, sleeping in, playing with my cousins during hay season at my great grandparents farm.

I wish: I could save the world, I was better at saying no, that everyone knew how my heart feels towards Jesus so they could experience it also.

I don't like: getting my hair or hands wet, hate, navy beans, crying, drugs, fighting, disappointing, seeing people hurt, not being able to save the ones I love, drunk driving.

I know: lots of people, disappointment, love, grace, how to make bread from scratch, how to preg check cows, how to pull a goat, that I am going to Heaven, that I bug Jeremy and he likes it, that my kids are loved my so many.

Blessed is me...