Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Pity Party: Table for one

I think we are all friends here
so let me be honest when I say
this week stinks and I am exhausted
It's only Wednesday.

Monday
I ran from here to there and everywhere.
I picked up and delivered a shelf from the salon to the farm.
I then drove back to the salon to pick up and deliver all the toy drive toys to the fairgrounds.
I did my general Monday banking and all the errands for the week.
I had planned on wrapping all the kids Christmas gift, but that didn't happen.
My house looked like a level 5 hurricane hit.
Dishes covered the counter-
Laundry was piled high
I picked up Mad from school because she had a dance performance at Clatsop Care.
While she got ready I made dinner, and washed dishes, so that the boys could eat while we were gone
more dishes
raced home so Mad could eat dinner and change for her CHRISTMAS program.
Came home and fell asleep on the sofa

Tuesday
A full day of work
Grocery shopping, washing and slicing veggies for Lewis and Clark's Teacher 
lunch
Dairy Queen for dinner
Showers for the kids
House is still at level 5 hurricane
Dishes again cover the counter
Laundry, yep it is still piled high
I fell asleep on the sofa before The Farmer was home from feeding cows.

Wednesday
Get things rolling earlier than normal so that I can go set up teacher lunch
I really do LOVE LOVE LOVE our kids' teachers and all the staff at our schools.
They do a great job!
Work is CRAZY
The phone is ringing off the hook!
For that I am thankful
I mess up my schedule and realize I am not going to make it to get the kids from school like I had planned.
The Farmer came to my rescue and went to get them.
Be the end of work I was crabby and on the verge of TOTAL MELTDOWN
I dislike when things don't go according to plan and I was out of niceness
Guitar practice-which was nice to just sit
House still at level 5 hurricane
Dishes again cover the counter
We use a lot of bowls and cups I've noticed
Laundry, well it is a loss cause
We ate frozen pizza for dinner
I don't even care that it tastes like the box I took it out of.
I will be asleep soon and it will probably be on the sofa.

Thursday
Thank God my mom will be here
She is a God send and gets all my laundry caught up
She can get more laundry washed, dried, folded and socks matched in 3 hours than I can in 3 weeks.
She also washes dishes, cleans my bathroom
and sometimes she makes us dinner.
I love Thursdays and her.

Friday
Work, work, work
Christmas party at my favorite eatery

Saturday
Work
The first of 5 Christmas celebrations
Another celebration Monday
2 on Tuesday plus Christmas Eve church-which is my fav fav fav
last on Wednesday when we head north to Bow Wa to see our Inman family
This is our VERY FAVORITE place to go.
I can't wait to squeeze Gram. She will be turning 94 early next year.
We cherish the days we get to spend with her.

I'm tired and crabby
I still have all our presents to wrap.
Really, what's the point of wrapping the kids already know 90% of their gifts.
I am out of soy milk and the rest of the family will be out tomorrow.
There is no time for a trip to the grocery store so I will be picking up milk at Landwehrs.
So much to do and so little time
I'll get it done.
Sometime.
or maybe not.

Blessed is me..

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Magic Christmas Jammies

Have you ever been so excited to start your own Christmas traditions that you didn't have the forethought that you might not be able to keep it up? 
I have!

I was SO super excited for Jameson's first Christmas that I started
"Christmas jammies"
When he would fall asleep on Christmas Eve I would change his jammies so that when he woke up he had brand new ones on.
I did it even on his first Christmas even though he was only 6 months old.
I continued this when Madalyn was born.

I'll never forget when he was three and he walked out of his room and said
"we have NEW jammies on! Santa changed our jammies."
He was so excited.
He and Madalyn would talk about it the night before Christmas.
They wondered what their new jammies would look like.
Jameson has a memory like a steel trap and still knows all the jammies he got.

I didn't think ahead that my tiny little kids would someday weigh over 60 lbs and trying to change their jammies while they were sleeping would turn into a chore of epic proportions.
Luckily they are both pretty heavy sleepers, but a few years ago I realized that there was no way I could continue this.

Madalyn was almost 5 and Jameson was 6.
They shared a room and slept in bunkbeds.
I knew it would be near impossible for me to change Jameson's jammies on the top bunk so I convinced them to both sleep in Madalyn's bottom bunk.
I tried to get them to sleep in old jammies that would be easy to take off and I bought new jammies that I thought would be easy to put on.


I had a great plan and it went like this:
The kids had been asleep for awhile so I knew they wouldn't wake up.
I slipped Jameson's jammie bottoms off and then Madalyn's
I thought that if I switched back and forth there would be less chance of them waking up.
I move back to Jameson and put on his new jammie pants.
I have to lift up his lower half to get them up over his bum.
Crap, he is heavy.
I get them on and move to Madalyn.
She doesn't sleep as hard so I have to be extra careful.
She is much easier than Jameson because she doesn't weigh as much.
I move onto the shirts.
I lift Jameson's upper body into the sitting position and his head flops forward eyes wide open.
ABORT ABORT goes through my head.
I lay him back down.
I'm sweating and my heart is pounding.
I move back to Madalyn
Lift her up slip off her shirt and then just slip her new jammies on.
Whew, she is done and snuggled back down in her pillow.
I now have to tackle the sleeping 65lb shirtless giant.
I lift him up and the giggles start.
What in the heck have I started???
I realize then there is no way I can continue this because the kid aren't getting any smaller
His head and arms flop back.
While I hold his back with one arm I try and get the shirt over his head.
All while trying not to laugh and sweating.
I get the shirt over his head and now I have to get his jello arms into the sleeves.
I am sure that all of this took about 5 minutes, but I felt like it was taking hours!
I finally get his shirt on and lay him down, but I couldn't get it pulled down so it is bunched up under his armpits.
It is going to have to just stay there.

I go to the living room and flop myself on the sofa and tell The Farmer
"I can't do that next year they are too big"

So, now I just fold their jammies and put them on the end of their bed and they change themselves before they come out of their rooms.
It only sparked one question
"I wonder why Santa didn't change my jammies"
To which I replied "you are probably just getting too big"
That was the end of the questions.
Thank goodness!

Blessed is me...

Monday, December 9, 2013

When a snow day goes south.

Today we had a snow day.
I thought since we had already spent a few days in the house because of below freezing temps we would head to the pool and burn off some energy.
I loaded up our kids and my nephew and off we went.
The kids swam in a nearly empty pool for two hours and then we stopped by the Pig for some lunch.

When we got home the kids played more outside even though it was super cold.
Sledding down the hill on cardboard, building snowmen and loving all the fun of a no school day.
They came in to get warmed up by the fire and decided to play the board game "Sorry"
This was the second time today that they played it.
The first time ended in an argument over who was getting all the sorry cards played on them.
I also added a lecture in there about not having a fit when games don't go your way.

I told the kids before round 2 started
"I will not listen to any fighting. Not even one. Either play nicely or don't play"
Well, that lasted less than 15 minutes.
I am in the living room adding wood to the fire when I hear Madalyn walking in; crying
I ask what is wrong and she tells me that Jameson bit her on the knee!
The knee? Biting?
My nephew is standing in the dining room probably not sure if he should venture in.
I ask him to come and tell me what happened and he says
"they both just started fighting cause Jameson said Madalyn was cheating"

I march myself to the laundry room and ask both kids to join me.
I ask Jameson what happened and told Madalyn not to talk.
Jameson tells me "Madalyn was cheating. She drew a card and didn't like it so she drew another one and it was a Sorry so I got mad and hit her then she pinched me and I bit her and when I bit her she pulled my hair!"
I glance over at Madalyn and she is clenching her fists and looks pissed.
I tell her she needs to get it together and she bursts
"HE IS LYING!"
I ask her what happened and told Jameson not to talk
Madalyn tells me almost the same story without the cheating part or the double drawing of the cards.
I am doing my best NOT to flip my lid and tell them that I am disappointed that they would treat each other like that.
I send them into the room to clean up the game together and when they come back I instruct them to sit in the dining room chairs and hold hands.
I've used the hand holding in the past and it had worked pretty well; especially if they thought someone might see them holding hands.

I had been vacuuming before all of this went down so I continued to vacuum and when I look up the kids are holding each others hands; very tightly.
You might call it squeezing.
I turn the vacuum off and ask what is going on and Madalyn tells me Jameson is squeezing her hand so hard that she had to squeeze his back!
I tell them that the longer that they act like jerks (yes, I called my kids jerks to their face) the longer they would sit there holding hands.
I finish vacuuming and walk into the kitchen to see Jameson crying
I ask what happened and he informs me that Madalyn had
PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE!

What?!
This is when they lost their iPods.
For good. Forever. Not getting them back. Not ever.


I decide this isn't working and send them outside to feed their rabbits and inform them that when they get back inside they will be spending the rest of the day in their rooms.
They cleaned their rooms to my specifications only coming out for showers and dinner.
I also made Jameson practice guitar for twice the normal time and Madalyn didn't get to go to dance.
Madalyn not getting to go to dance was her harshest punishment as far as she is concerned. She wailed and threw herself onto her bedroom floor when I told her she wouldn't be going.
Have to get them where it hurts the most.
Had it not been so cold outside they would have been stacking wood, but it is too cold for that today.
They were welcome to read, play whatever, but that is it.

The rest of the night has been smooth sailing, but holy moly the afternoon went downhill real fast.
When I shared with my SIL and The Farmer about the afternoon they both smirked.
I am sure that I will think it is funny too; another day.
Actually, had it happened to anyone else I would have thought it was funny at the time too.
I sure hope there is school tomorrow because these kids need some time apart.

Blessed is me...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I wear underwear!

Yesterday when I got dressed I slipped on my black Zella Live In leggings, a long thick black tank and a brown boyfriend cut sweatshirt.
Add some super cute boot socks and some brown boots and you have a recipe for a cute outfit!
Oh, I also put on underwear!

I guess this is a topic of conversation between women.
Underwear with leggings?!
Yes, underwear.
I wear underwear with leggings, and pants, and skirts, and jammies.
I know not everyone thinks that you should wear underwear, but I do it anyways.
I'm reckless like that.
I also don't wear string, thong or any other underwear that only has a sliver of fabric and here is why.
They make me feel big, fat and uncomfortable.

There isn't enough fabric on the sides to not dig into my squishy body causing a dent that no legging will hide.
In fact on some there isn't even fabric there is just an elastic type band.
Unless you have a rock hard body or 0% body fat those damn things are going to dig in.
I stand most of the day at work and those stupid things ruin my day.
When my day gets ruined I get crabby and when I get crabby
you wont want to be around me.
No, seriously you don't.

So, I wear  bikini underwear.
You know the type.
Old ladies wear them.
I guess that makes me an old lady.
I don't care because I am comfortable.

What about panty lines?
Who cares!
I could care less if you know I have underwear on.
I wonder if people whisper "oh my word Kallie has undewear on" 
Get over it!
If you don't want to see my panty lines.
Don't look at my behind!
I also always wear a LONG tank when I wear legging and it covers most of my behind.

Besides, whoever thought that the smallest least amount of fabric was a great idea for underwear should be poked in the eye with a hot stick.
If it didn't impede my breathing I would wear a full body spanx everyday to smooth out all my lumps, bumps and squishiness.
Then I wouldn't have to worry about dents from underwear, muffin tops or any of that other stuff that makes women feel bad about how they look.
Breathing is important so I have to forgo the spanx especially if I want to sit down at any point during the day.

 I also don't think The Farmer cares what kind of underwear I have on and he is the only that sees my underwear anyways.
That is unless my kids are in my room when I get dressed.
They also don't seem to care.

This brings up a side point. When I was finishing up Christmas shopping for the kids I was getting them new underwear.
Madalyn is 7 and she wears size 8 clothes.
The styles available in addition of briefs for her size of underwear are:
Bikini, hipster and low rise.
SHE IS 7!
I for one and not ready to even discuss why I would have on barely there undies and she doesn't get to.
She will be wearing briefs well into her 40's.
Oh, and ankle length skirts, high neck shirts and long sleeves.

So there you have it you now know I wear underwear with leggings and my bra can double as a tow strap.
That Farmer is a lucky guy!

Blessed is me...


Sunday, December 1, 2013

She will always be my peanut butter

Today is December 1 which means soon she will slide into my cash box her last lease payment.
It is a day that is filled with sadness, happiness, joy and excitement.
In less than a month she will box up her things.
Shut the lights off.
Close the door and lock it one last time.
She is off on her own.

I have had people leave the salon for their own adventures before and I probably will again.
However, this one is different.
She and I have shared a lot of things.
She has been with me since almost the start.
We became like sisters.
She was my best.
We have shared in highs and lows.
Life and death.
I was privileged to share in the big and small of life.

I was there the day she found out she was pregnant.
At 1310 Duane
It was surreal.
A momma, she was gonna be a momma of twins!
A great one I might add.
I got to hold those precious lives in my arms while they were at their most delicate.
The NICU will punch your right in the gut. 
Little lives so precious some hanging on by a thread.
She tended to those boys like she had done it hundreds of times.
A natural born mother.

She shared Grams love with me.
For the longest time I didn't even know what Grams name was because everyone called her
"Gram"
Her name is Mary.
What a special lady so full of life and love.
I loved hearing stories about how Gram would attend every sporting event supporting her littlest girl.
 She called me when Gram got sick and I held her in her room while she cried.
Life changes in a fleeting moment.
When Gram went to be with Jesus a party was held in her honor.
As my 7 year old put it
"no one is sad at Grams party because we know shes with Jesus"
It was a beautiful day with filled with stories, laughter, tears, messages sent on a balloon string and a sunshine yellow dress.

We have been on many adventures into the big city.
We call them adventures cause we can get lost even with GPS.
It always includes:
Saving the world
Starbucks
Road trip snacks, candy for me and Gardetto's  or Chex Mix for her
and
laughing; LOTS of laughing.

2 of our most memorable hotel stays are the Shiloh and the Benson
The Shiloh was terrifying in the way of the super loud head banging music all night, kids running up and down the hall and a blood stained pillow-we called for a new one.
We laugh now, but then we woke up exhausted.
The Benson was a real treat until we got into our room.
Our first room shared a wall with the elevator.
It was real loud and the lightbulbs in the lamp were burned out!
When we called and asked to be moved they gladly obliged.
They moved us to a room on the tippy top floor all the way to the end of the hall.
There was a mirror at the end of the hall.
It was like the Exorcist!
I guess that is what you get when you score the Benson for $55.00!
Note: they will know you are small town girls when you have chase the valet because you forgot to tip him.

We have spent mornings texting only to spend the whole day working together and end the day with more texting.
I am sure our husbands thought we needed an intervention, but there is important stuff to talk about.

We have shared in Friendsgiving, early morning family breakfast and Christmas tree hunting.
We have commiserated about how we just want to stay home on holidays instead of going here there and everywhere.
The holiday season can be a busy one!

We have camped and fed each others kids sticky messy delicious
s'mores.
Played chubby bunny around the camp fire
and enjoyed yummy mimosas for breakfast.

When we had the big "November Storm" which would have been called a hurricane in others areas.
We blew across the street leaving work together laughing and making sure each other didn't blow away.

When we moved the salon from Duane to Commercial she spent countless hours painting over the black and white decor.
She bundled up her babies and brought their pack and play so they could hang out while she worked.
It was a big job!
She was a life saver in getting that place move in ready!

When we had the tsunami warning a few years back I woke up to approximately 
2000 texts and calls from her asking if we were awake.
We weren't.
That is until our neighbor banged on our door at 2am waking our entire house so we could watch the news.
More texting.
When the coast was clear we moved into our disaster preparedness.
What we needed to have on hand and how quick we could get to high ground.
How we would get to our kids if they weren't with us.
General information that made us feel ready for anything.
I have turned to her in times of need, stress, celebration and business decisions.
I have bounced ideas, parenting questions and
I have complained about The Farmer to her.
She in turn has done the same.
Sometimes we share a brain and finish each other sentences.

Things are changing as they always do.
I don't always love change, but I know this is right.
She is going to do great.
The Farmer told me "it is to be expected that a great hairdresser will eventually open her own salon"

While our friendship is evolving and becoming different as life always does
I hope she knows that
I have treasured every single moment

She will always be the
Busch Light to my Nascar
Year round Christmas lights to my trailer
Beaver fan to my Duck fan
Cheese to my macaroni
Jelly to my peanut butter.

Blessed is me...