Tuesday, September 9, 2014

She Is Watching Me

On a visit to my friend C's house a few years ago I noticed that she had her wedding gown hanging on display in her bedroom.
I loved this idea.
So, when we moved out to to the farm I had found in one of my many treasure hunts
an small old yoke.
I thought it would be perfect to use for my wedding gown.
Always there to see. 

I love my wedding gown.
It is a symbol of:
My first best day ever
Being Mrs. Jeremy Linder
The beginning of a new chapter in our story of
love and commitment
It was the start of us.

This past weekend our fancy farm girl got to live her dream of being a flower girl.
Her dress was big, fluffy, white and beautiful.
She loved every second of wearing it and I wasn't sure that I would be able to get it off of her.
Yesterday when I walked into her room there is was
hanging in the corner of her room
on display.
 She even added a clip and some netting like a veil. 

(pardon the paint someone peeled decals off the wall that aren't supposed to remove paint)
At first I just thought she loved it and wanted to see it.
Then when telling my friend, M, about it and her saying
"it's just like your dress hanging in your room"
That's when I realized a much bigger moment.
The Fancy Farm Girl is watching me.
 And she is emulating the things I do.

I mean I know she is always watching me, but she's really watching everything.
 She is going to learn by watching me.
She is watching me love The Farmer and how he loves me.

She is watching how to treat a husband and how a husband should treat a wife.
She is watching how I keep our house-sometimes not good
She is watching how I care for myself and our family.
She is watching me stand up for what I believe in.
She is watching me bend until I almost break.

She is watching even when I don't want her to.
When I lose my patience.
When I roll my eyes at The Farmer when he walks away.
When I restart the dryer-again
When I text and drive-oh shush you do it too!
When I crack under pressure.
When I sit down in the bottom of the shower after a long stressful day where my tears can wash right down the drain

I have been entrusted with this little life and I have a job bigger than just being her mom.
I have to teach her how to be a strong loving compassionate WOMAN.
A woman.

I hope she sees how much I love her dad.
I hope she sees how I am loved by her dad
I hope she sees the depth of the love I have for her and her brother.
I hope she sees what I would sacrifice for all three of them.
I hope she sees that it's ok to not be tough all the time and that
it's ok to let your guard down and break after bending for too long.
I hope she sees how important it is to always stand up for what is right.
I hope she sees me as the best momma for her.

Before I know it our Fancy Farm Girl is going to be a Fancy Farm Woman In The City.
I better make every moment count.

Blessed is me...