Sunday, January 24, 2016

How Project Madalyn Picks Out Her Own Clothes Was Born

A few days ago I tapped out
in which I talked about my 
white flag.

It's when I decided to surrender to the battle that was getting 
The Fancy Farm Girl
dressed for the day.

If you know me even a little you probably know I am
Type A
I'm totally flexible as long as things are done the way I think they should be.
I am a leader some say bossy even intimidating.
I also am passionate about a lot of things.
My daughter looking just right used to be one of them. 
I knew before she was born what kind of clothes she would wear and how she would be
oh so cute everyday in cute little pigtails and matching clothes
complete with shoes and ruffle socks.
I even claimed
"My daughter will NEVER wear clothes that don't match!"
I like things kind of perfect.

Then she turned three and I realized..
She is totally flexible as long as things are done the way she thinks they should be.
she is bossy and
definitely a leader.
 She has eyes that will melt your heart, she has beautiful hair, she loves babies, she loves playing school, 
She is just like me except she likes things perfectly imperfect.

Getting her ready in the morning was a battle most days. 
I would bribe her with jelly beans to get pig tails in her hair.
 I would pick out her clothes she would have a fit because she didn't like what I picked out. 
I would say "you are wearing what I want you to wear"
She would melt down, I would sweat. 
It wouldn't be very much fun.

In 2010
our friends had their lives turned upside down with the death of their 4 year old daughter.
There I was sitting at the memorial celebrating the life of Ashlynn Anderson  
as Pastor Andy read a letter her mom wrote. 
D'ette wrote about Ashlynn and how she would pick out her own clothes everyday sometimes even princess dress and would always be so proud of herself. 
It was as if time stood still and the words replayed over and over in my head as tears streamed down my face.
Proud of herself? 
What a concept in parenting. 
It was on that day that I decided I had to let go of making Madalyn look how I thought she needed to look, let her be proud of herself and to be herself.
She may be like me, but she isn't me.

At first this was super hard! 
She would get dressed and I would cringe.
 I decided as long as she had clean clothes on I would let it ride. 
Then the idea of Project Madalyn Picks Out Her Own Clothes began.
When she had a crazy outfit on I would take her picture and believe me some outfits were rough.
She would get looks, she would gets comments always good and she was always proud of herself.
 I would get eye rolls from disapproving mothers, I would get comments both good and bad and
 I was proud of myself.

Mornings would go smooth.
No more tears, yelling, frustrations or bribes!
She would look in the mirror after getting dressed and say

"I look good!"

I would actually look forward to seeing what she put together
I no longer worried about what other moms would think and when she would get looks and I would get a disapproving eye roll I never felt 
like I needed to explain and say
   "she picks out her own clothes" 
I just smiled at her, grabbed her hand and moved on. 

If you are fighting battles with you kids like these I would encourage you to step back and look at it from a different view. 
Will it matter tomorrow if she wears a

 pink fleece hat  and pink gloves with a black and white checked party dress today? 


Or a swimsuit top over her shirt with jeans?
 This was a favorite she also paired with cowboy boots.


 Or her recital dress and a crown with her jeans to church?


Or this? Oh my what is this???
 

Or these shorts that she paired with a lot of different leggings
That shirt became one of her favorites.
 

Or that she is wearing a skirt as a shirt!


Or when she wears bracelets on her bicep and those boots are covered in silver glitter.


 Sometimes she would even put things together I wish I had thought of!
 I mean this girl has some style!





 
It doesn't matter one single bit and if it wasn't for the pictures I took I wouldn't even remember most of her outfits.
 
The lessons we teach our kids can be profound in letting them learn to make choices, feeling proud of themselves
 and letting them know we love them regardless of what they wear.

I would never had expected this lesson from a  4 year old princess who loved purple and dancing on her toes and today is "eating cookies for breakfast with Jesus"
As Madalyn would say.

Blessed Is Me...

2 comments:

  1. Wow. This is amazing! Jo is so much like her, but maddy is definitely more cutting edge! Galliano eat your heart out. I love hearing your struggles. And the victory! I love that you didn't tell people she dressed herself. You just let it be. #learning from you... You're raising a world changer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow. This is amazing! Jo is so much like her, but maddy is definitely more cutting edge! Galliano eat your heart out. I love hearing your struggles. And the victory! I love that you didn't tell people she dressed herself. You just let it be. #learning from you... You're raising a world changer.

    ReplyDelete