Sunday, January 27, 2013

Ethel Rae

Ethel Rae Beelar

She was my grandma
She had 7 siblings
(Glenna, Pheobe, Nancy, Sheila, Nora, Jack, Glen)
She had 7 children
(Yvonne, James, Glenda, Craig, Vicki, Richard, David)
She had  16 grandchildren
(Nick, Kevin, Tony, Kristi, James, Rob, Kallie, Pat, Michael, Craig, Geneva, Richard, Zachary, Chelsea, Mindy, Miranda)
She buried one grandchild
She never met one grandchild
She has countless great grandchildren she has never met
She buried her first husband (James Wheatley) while her children were still young
She was married 3 times
She loved the color blue
She lived in Holland
She never had a drivers license
She made the most delicious pancakes and would always let me beat the egg whites
She taught me how to make pie crust
She listened to Scandinavian music
She smelled like cigarettes and Exclamation perfume
She never left the house without her face on and hair done "no decent woman does"
She drew her eyebrows on with a Maybelinne pencil everyday
She knew how to pluck a chicken
She wore rings, bracelets and earrings everyday no matter what she was doing
She put hand lotion on often and when she did her rings clinked together
She let me ride my bike in the house at the "blue farm" in Walluski
She let me eat sugar on my pancakes
She watched her home with Grandpa Cliff burn to the ground
She lived in a travel trailer
She let me spend the night whenever I called
She tucked me in tight to bed
She let me use as many bubbles as I wanted in the claw foot tub
She put her teeth in a glass on the bathroom counter at night
She always hugged me tight
She always had butterscotch and cinnamon disks in the candy dish. If I dusted I could have one
She wore a size 4 wedding band.. same as me... I wear hers now
She got cancer
She never sought treatment, but instead traveled to see every single one of her grand kids before she died..something I didn't understand and was mad about.. I get it now
She even on her death bed wanted her toes polished and her legs shaved.. I did it for her
 She came home from seeing all those kids she loved climbed into bed and never got out
She died

The day she died is one I will never forget. I rushed out to Knappa to see her. She laid in bed so peaceful wearing her favorite jewelry. I cried and cried. I climbed into her bed my head on her chest. Heartbroken. 
To me she was perfect; perfect love.
I miss her

She would have loved Jameson's tender heart and huge smile
She would have loved Madalyn's spunk and contagious laugh
She would have loved Jeremy and his quiet strong demeanor
She would have loved to see all of her grand kids grow to be parents
She would have loved all the little feet running through the kitchen tugging on her hand for attention

She was and still is love even though we can't see or touch her
Sometimes I can smell her
Sometimes she comes to my dreams
Sometimes I cry when I think of how much I missed with her even though I got more than most
Most times I am overjoyed by the gifts she left us from pie crusts and bubble baths to the lessons on love and tight hugs
Someday I will see her again
Blessed is me...

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