60 years of being best friends.

Last weekend we celebrated Jer's grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. They truly are the kindest most loving people you will meet. It is obvious that when you are with them that they are madly in love with and cherish each other. They always hold hands (grandma says it is cause they are holding each other up) and their love spills over onto their kids, grand kids, and great grand kids.

I once had a new client come in and tell me that my grandma referred her to me. It was actually Jer's grandma cause both mine have passed away. Anyways the lady went on to tell me they were waiting in line at Safeway to get their flu shots and she had noticed a couple that were obviously in love and must have just gotten married that they were holding hands and being very attentive to one another. I told my new client that they had been married for 55 years! She was shocked to see that a couple could be married so long and still have love like that.

I recently asked Grandma how she thought they made it 60 years. She told me it was "faith in God." I then asked her if she would write us a letter explaining it to us. Our kids get to see them quite often, but our grand kids may not and I think it is a treasure our whole family would like to have. After some hesitation she agreed and I am so glad!

I am a little computer illiterate and can't figure out how to scan this so you can read it. Here is what it says...

Dear family,
Awhile back Kallie asked me to write a letter sharing with everyone why we thought our marriage lasted 60 years. After a lot of soul searching, I finally agreed.

Going way back to the beginning, I remember my Mother teaching me and important lesson on what I should look for in a husband. She said the more things you have in common, the better the chances your marriage would survive. There would be fewer serious issues for you to disagree on. Faith in God and having the same moral traits were very important issues. Both Dick and I grew up in home with Parents who were practicing Catholics. Church was very important in both our families. My mother would always write the first check of each month for their church support. Her reasoning being that if you ran out of money before the end of the month, you had already paid God first and he wouldn't be shortchanged. She knew that all that you give to God will come back many time over. One of her other lessons was on dating. She would only let me date Catholic boys. Her argument for this policy was simple. if you date these boys only, you will find a mate among them who shares a strong moral bond with you. Important common traits.

When Dick and I married on August 16, 1952, the times were much simpler, as was our wedding. I paid for the wedding myself, including my mom and dad's suits. Dad grew the gladiolas I used to decorate the church. People didn't go into hock to have lavish affairs. The marriage itself was the focus. No rehearsal dinner, no booze or sit down dinners. Just cake, nuts, candy, punch and coffee. We had our wedding Mass at 10:00 in the morning followed by a breakfast at the hotel for the bridal party and their parents. this was a necessity as we had to fast from midnight to receive Holy Communion in those days, and we were all hungry. then we had the simple reception at the a hall at 2:00 in the afternoon. that is how things were done then. As I said, times were simpler back then, and divorce was unheard of.

You go through lots of stages in a marriage. The first 25 years are the hardest. They first years are full of adjustments. Melding meal times, food preferences, chores and finances. Then when you have children, the marriage has more love, more joy, and more adjustments; discipline, diapers and more chores to share. Wonderful time and challenges raising kids. An enriching process which leaves great everlasting memories of time and love shared.

We were truly blessed in the children stage. As I said, times were much simpler back then. The kids grew up being able to play outside until dark without parents worrying about them. TV was in it's beginning in the 50's, and as were most families, we were mesmerized by the whole thing. This cut into cards and game times but we survived. Barely. Money was always tight when the kid were growing up, so we enjoyed simple family fun. Camping, swimming, fishing, and Sunday car rides followed by simple ice cream cones.

Then all too soon, you're at the empty nest stage. Hopefully, you've continued to nurture the love you have for each other and you can look over at your spouse and see your best friend, not some stranger. it was during this alone time that Dick and I started our evening glass of wine, which was an acquired taste for me. The first one home from work poured the wine, and then we sat together and share our day and other things going on. It was a special time of day for us.

We moved into the retirement stage on the same day, December 31, 1993. Jobs now behind us, we were excited about where our travels were going to take us and all the new friends we would be able to meet, and hoped we had planned adequately. Fortunately, we both like to travel in our RV, and found it a a wonderful rewarding experience. We have had many good memories of our trips.

The last stage is dealing with aging and health issues. The mind says "sure you can do it", but the body says "I don't think so".  We are grateful for the loving support of our family at this time. They are always there for us when we need them, just a phone call away. Many of our friend are not so lucky. We are also grateful that we've been able to take turns with our serious operations, so we could be strong for each other when the other one was having a health issue. That "in sickness and health" vow is priceless.

With all these stages to build on, besides being husband and wife, we are each others best friend. That has not changed in our sixty years together. You can't go wrong marrying your best friend.

There aren't words to explain what it is like to be part of this family with Dick and Betty at the helm. They just love that is it. It is a simple love. They love you right were you are, they love you when you are down and will extend a hand to help you up, they love you when you are up and will lift you even higher, they just love you plain and simple. I wish everyone could see and share in what we get to see all the time.

Blessed is me.

Girls day!!

Madalyn and I planned to have a girls day today since Daddy would be at work and Jameson would be at kids camp!

Since Saturday Mad has had a rash on her neck and chin. It appeared to be an allergic reaction to something cause she felt fine and didn't have a fever.

  

We planned a quick trip to the urgent care, but our quick trip turned into over 2 hours. Who knew they would be so busy? The allergic reaction turned out to be hot tub folliculitis. You can read about that here if you want to. No worries it will go away on it's own and isn't contagious! On to GIRLS DAY!

Next we headed over to Marie Antoinette's cupcakes. I knew she would LOVE it there. She had a delish vanilla cupcake and I had a chai. We traded frosting cause she didn't like the vanilla so much. She informed me of where she would put her furniture if that was her bedroom. If you haven't been there you should stop in for a treat. They are really yummy!

The we were off to Madalyn's 2nd favorite store. Staples! Macy's is her 1st favorite. This girls loves office supplies almost as much as she loves clothes.  

We really lived life on the edge today. Mad sat in the FRONT seat! Judge if you want, but I loved rocking out to Pontoon and Something bout a truck with her.

We stopped by to see Grammy and Mad was glad to see she was "back on her feet."

Came home and made some zucchini bread from Mrs. Krafts cookbook. Here is the recipe if you want to try it out.

We rounded out the day having a picnic with Daddy who was mowing our field. A yummy dinner of pork chops, roasted beets, fresh green beans, and GIANT blueberries from my dear friend Diana. 

She must have had a fun day cause I not only got a note from her she paperclipped a piece of gum to the note. If you know Mad she isn't a big sharer of her gum.

She is now crashed on the sofa snuggled under a blanket. She sleeps in a sweatshirt and sweats just like I do. I don't suggest waking either one of us up unless you like poking a bear with a stick. Just pick us up and carry us to bed. I hope she enjoyed today as much as I did.

Blessed is me..

Life on the farm

Yesterday as I was washing dishes, Jer was mowing on the tractor, and our kids were running around outside I got to thinking. I wish every child got to experience living the farm life. 

This is where our kids get to play and run everyday.

  

This is what our porch looks like most days

Our kids get to ride in tractors, see animals born, see daddy mow hay, papa bale hay, and see mommy pull goats.

 We get to run down the dyke, and eat dinner in the field

Sometimes we have to say goodbye to our best friends

 We get to watch the sun set sitting on a fence

And all we have to do is walk out our back door.

Blessed is me..

Abortions, forgiving, and a dream come true.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom. I had the perfect family planned out in my head. I would have a husband who would love me to no end, then a son, then a daughter. We would be the perfect family. It didn't work out as I had planned so perfectly.

I did have the husband. He loved me and I loved him. Things were not always easy. There was fighting, crying, and controlling. I got pregnant. I was elated. FINALLY in my early 20's I would be mom. The best mom. At 15 weeks I would have a triple marker screen to test for Trisomy 18, Down Syndrome and other chromosome abnormalities. I knew I would pass the test with no trouble. I had never smoked, done drugs, or drank much. Then I got the phone call. My baby MAY have Trisomy 18. I cried... A lot. What did I do to make this happen? Why me? What will people say?

I was scheduled for genetic counseling and a 3D ultrasound. When we got to the hospital our counselor indicated that the u/s tech would be very quiet and would be taking a lot of measurements. The u/s was amazing. I could see my baby dancing around in my belly. I almost forgot why we were there. The tech was very quiet just the clicking of the mouse made noise. She finished, said I could go to the bathroom and excused herself saying she would be right back. She soon came back with a doctor who looked over the printed pictures.

He told us that from the pictures our baby had Trisomy 18. Clenched fists and club feet were present in the u/s. We would need an amnio to be sure. I was crushed. An amnio is a weird thing to experience. I could feel the needle poke me twice. I cried all the way home.

Fast forward 10 or so days. Amnio confirmed that our baby did indeed have Trisomy 18. (for more info on what that is www.trisomy18.org). We had 2 days to decide if we would continue on with the pregnancy or abort. If we chose to continue our baby wouldn't likely live to 1 year of age if it was even born alive. If we chose to abort it needed to be done within days. We chose to abort.

I would have to have the procedure at the Lovejoy clinic because my insurance would only pay for it there. It was the worst day of my life. We drove through a black gate and were ushered inside. The receptionist sat behind bullet proof glass. I remember a kid going up and asking how long his girlfriend would be cause he "didn't have all day". I didn't want to be there. A nurse came out and called my name. I had to alone.. no husbands allowed. She asked me a bunch of questions told me to change in the bathroom and to get on a gurney. A man came over, he seemed huge and explained that due to the size of my baby I would be completely put under. He prayed. I woke up to a woman SCREAMING a lot! I asked for someone to get my husband but they couldn't. I got dressed. We left. I cried. I would have been the best mom.

Fast forward. My already failing marriage failed. We got divorced. I moved on, but carried a huge unknown burden. Tears would come at the most inappropriate times. The day my nephew was born was the worst. I cried all day even leaving work to go lay on my moms sofa. I didn't cry because she was having a baby, but because I didn't get to. It was horrible and I felt so selfish. I would see families and wonder if I would ever get that. I got pregnant again! Jeremy and I weren't yet married, but I didn't care. Here was my chance to be the best mom! I miscarried. More crying.

Jeremy and I got married. It was a beautiful day. He loves me everyday even when he doesn't like me so much (I can be a pain. Surprised?). He is a treasure who can wipe all my cares away with one hug.

Fast forward to about 5 years ago. I started going to church at Coastline. We learn a lot about love, grace, and forgiveness. One Sunday Pastor Michael was teaching on forgiveness and how sometimes we need to forgive ourselves because God already has. He showed this video 99 balloons. How did he know? I felt alone in the church even though I was surrounded by people. It was surreal. I was crying. Michael didn't know, but God did. He knew that I was carrying around shame, sadness, guilt, fear, and all sorts of other junk. He knew that I didn't want to cry about it anymore. He knew I needed to be there that very minute. When church ended I rushed to my car so no one would see me cry. I prayed that God would forgive me and that I would forgive myself. As I pulled out of the parking lot all the guilt, shame, sadness, and grief left and I felt it! I was forgiven.

I now have all I ever dreamed of. I have a husband who LOVES me, I have a son and daughter. I don't always get it right, some days I struggle, and sometimes I yell at my kids. I am the best mom.. for my kids.

Blessed is me..

Jameson Rockefeller Linder

Tomorrow Jameson turns 8. I can't believe the day has come that he will no longer need to sit in a booster seat. I know he has long been big enough to not sit in one, but I wasn't ready for that. He is more than ready.

Eight years ago Jer was feverishly working on our first home. We were living in his parents "little house" which is one big room and a bathroom with our two dogs. Think hotel room. Jer would work all day then head over to the house for more work. Lucky for us most of the work was painting, recarpeting and cleaning. Nothing like our latest house remodel with studs slipping out of the walls.

Some things that I remember about June 25th and 26th:
I worked at Bellisima Salon and Julie Bay was my first client that day.
Julie told me I was in labor as soon as she saw me.
I had a rare short day at work so I went home early cause I was so tired and my back was killing me.
I had called Jer and asked him to please come home right after work cause I wasn't feeling good.
My dogs wouldn't leave me alone. If I was sitting they sat next to me. If I laid on they bed they were on the bed.
I was in labor just as Julie had said.
I went in to maternity to be checked and I was dialating, but chose to go home instead of staying.
I should have stayed.
Jer stopped in the hay field to tell his dad Larry I was in labor on our way back home.
We didn't stay home very long.
Upon re-arrival at the hospital we needed to go thru the ER and I laid down in the door way to have a contraction and then again in the hallway. (Laying in the doorway of the ER will get the staff to rush over to you)
Labor was fast and I was sure Jameson would rip our my back.
Jer was amazing and I couldn't have had him any closer.
One of the nurses smelled like cheap hairspray and she yelled at me to stop pushing as I was puking my guts out and my water was breaking.
I thought I peed in the bed.
I hated the jacuzzi and wanted out as soon as they got it filled up and turned on cause it was getting my hair wet.
I needed a c-section cause Jameson was trying to come out chin up face first.
Our parents weren't there cause they all expected that I would be in labor for hours.
Dr. Cahill was amazingly calm and so reassuring.
I saw Jer cry for the first time ever as they wheeled me away for surgery. He joined me within minutes.
Surgery is a blur.
I don't remember anything until I was wheeled back to our room where Jer was holding a yet to be named baby boy that would soon be Jameson Rockefeller Linder.
My dad was my most frequent visitor besides Jer.
Michael Larsen brought Jer breakfast from Andrew & Steves when he came to see us.

Somethings people told me:
The nurses told me Jer was the most calm attentive husband they had seen.
Jer's mom told me when she walked into maternity Jer was walking down the hall holding a baby and latched onto her sobbing.
Jer told me he "was like a duck" calm on the surface, but his feet were going crazy under the water.

For me Jameson was a dream come true. I have always wanted to be a mom and now I have been for 8 years. Jameson is so kind, he loves animals, he is a great speller, likes math and drawing. He is shy and afraid to try new things for fear of not being good. He really wants to win a trophy. Sports "isn't really his thing", He is an early riser. He writes songs and notes telling us he loves us. He picks on his sister and drives me crazy. He loves to highlight in his bible. He doesn't make new friends easy. He loves sloppy joes and tacos. He would eat cheese "not melted" in a tortilla everyday. He loves the Ducks. He will politely decline anything with OSU or the Beavers on it. In eight more years he will be driving. No matter what comes I am his mom and I love him more than he will ever know.

Blessed is me..

GASP! I have dishpan hands.

A few weeks back I was at Costco. I was headed back to get dog food and I passed by a vendor handing out Jet Dry samples.
Costco Dude : "would you like a sample of our Jet Dry dish washer tabs"
Me: "No thanks I don't have a dishwasher"
Lady: "GASP! (to her friend) did you hear that? she said she doesn't have a dishwasher! can you believe she doesn't have a dishwasher?"

That is right folks I don't have a dishwasher. Jer and I wash our dishes by hand (I'm pretty sure Jer does most of them). I wonder if we would hear that same kind of gasp by these statistics:

~That about 500 million people in the world are chronically hungry. Most of them are children. More than 30,000 of them die each day of hunger-related causes. (sustainer.org)
~that there are 145 MILLION orphans worldwide. (UNICEF)
~In 2009 332,278 abortions were performed by Planned Parenthood alone. That is one every 95 seconds! (cbsnews.com
~There are 2 million repeat drunk drivers on the road at any given time. (madd.org)
~In 2011 there were 234 homeless students in Clatsop County (cffo.org)
~In 2010 there were 1.8 million AIDS related deaths. (unaids.org)




My focus gets so consumed by all that I don't have, all that I think that I need, and my wants. What  my focus should be on what I can do to help a child go to bed in a warm home or with a full tummy. I should be reaching out to mothers who think their only way out of unwanted pregnancy is to terminate a beating heart. In fact it is my duty as a follower of Jesus to do all of that and yet instead I worry about all the "stuff" I don't have.

Imagine if we all lent a helping hand and never thought about what kind of repayment we would get or if we would be honored for our giving. What if we gave so selflessly so that another never had to go without?


Do not seek your own advantage, but that of the other. 1 Corinthians 10:24

Blessed is me <3

This is me...


I am: Jeremy's wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a business owner, a Christian, a Republican, a giver of charity, everybody's mother, a hairdresser, a cousin, forgiven, a niece, a grand daughter, a faux mom.

I love: Jeremy, Jameson, Madalyn, Jesus, sleeping, coffee, love, the girls who work with me, my house, my parents, my brother, my in-loves, toast at night, peanut butter cups, my pillow hoodies, wearing Jeremy's socks, my friends, quiet mornings, hugs, HOT showers.

I am afraid of: slugs (I know..), water, snakes, disappointing people, that some I love wont ever go to heaven.

I have: been divorced, had an abortion, (I am sing it from the mountains pro- life) wanted to be a mom for as long as I remember, been Jeremy's wife for almost 9 years, miscarried, been a mom for almost 8 years, lived in a travel trailer, drank too much, learned to lean on faith, made mistakes, helped people, been helped, learned hard lessons, been saved, been a hairdresser for almost 19 years.





I miss: my grandma Ethel, simple days, sleeping in, playing with my cousins during hay season at my great grandparents farm.


I wish: I could save the world, I was better at saying no, that everyone knew how my heart feels towards Jesus so they could experience it also.

I don't like: getting my hair or hands wet, hate, navy beans, crying, drugs, fighting, disappointing, seeing people hurt, not being able to save the ones I love, drunk driving.

I know: lots of people, disappointment, love, grace, how to make bread from scratch, how to preg check cows, how to pull a goat, that I am going to Heaven, that I bug Jeremy and he likes it, that my kids are loved my so many.

Blessed is me...