Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I Am Martha


Who's Martha?
She's Mary and Lazarus' sister.
Her story can be found
in Luke 10
Of
The Bible 

I've been thinking a lot about her lately and how I am just like her.

Mary is the girl who sits at the feet of Jesus gazing at Him
while Martha busies herself with all the things that need to be prepared for.

I have beautiful friends that are Mary's 
quietly, prayerfully, gracefully gliding through the day.
I picture them with little birds swirling around and baby bunnies following them.
It's magical and beautiful and sometimes I wish I could be like that
but it just isn't 
who I am.

I am a front row sitting, boots on the ground, problem solving by action and talking kind of girl.
Talking, so so much talking.
Usually too much talking.
Clanging, banging and making a lot of noise.
no birds or bunnies because I've scared them all away and not what might be considered magical
When I see a need I try to fill it whether it is through fundraising or delivering a meal or whatever I can do to physically help.
Sometimes even when I don't want to help I can't help myself.
Sometimes it even means my kids and my husband don't get the best of me.

I fail at sitting and prayerfully waiting.
Miserably
Oh, I pray; I do.
When I wake, throughout the day, when something strikes me, when clients sit with me, when I put my kids to bed, when someone asks me to pray,
but I never sit and pray quietly.
I've tried and this is what happens.
Thoughts of what I can do
"should I stop and give someone a hug today"
"I'll bring them dinner"
"What should I wear today"
"I wonder if they know how much I love them"
"I need to call my mom"
"Oh ya I was trying to sit quietly and pray"

Recently this has really been on my heart and I was sharing some other feelings with one of my dearest and she said something profound.
"it's ok to be who God made you to be"

The words knocked the wind right out of me.

God made me a
problem solving
passionate
opinionated
praying
big loving
big hugging
goody baking
farm loving
mother of everyone
He made me a 
Martha

It's ok to be Who God made you to be because you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
It says so in Psalm 139

Blessed Is Me.


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